what are you doing the rest of your life?

I thought my blog had died a swift death but thank goodness, Blogger did not bury it too deep into cyberspace. It is still within my grasp and it's mine for waxing lyrical over Life. The past few months of non-blogging have been painful, I tried to blog in other spaces but it never felt the same and I just couldn't blog elsewhere. Yes, good question, so why the hell did I ever delete my blog in the first place? I grew sick of every single word I wrote, every sentence I created and everything I once stood for (hope, peace, eternal friendships, true love, the belief that God was fair and just, etc). I started blogging when I was nineteen (rather late but you must know, I did not grow up with the great invention called the Internet) and people evolve especially when they go through traumatic experiences like first jobs, unemployment, financial woes, loss of innocence and coming to terms with their own failures. So yeah, I guess I just felt I needed to start over, on a blank slate to create my own identity and ultimately, destiny. No fate, but what we create (tm Terminator 2).

Hopefully, I've grown to become wiser so no more squeeing over nonsensical inanimate objects. I forget sometimes, how insignificant we all are, in this vast universe. Merely a speck of unidentified dust. That's the beauty of it all I guess, the fact that if you look at it on a whole, everything makes perfect sense. The dramatic laws of cause and effect.

Anyway, I've been watching lots of television lately, and I absolutely love, love, love Peter Petrelli from Heroes! He's got those perfect eyes and he is the one person who is actually capable of saving the world. So much love. On another note, 2 of my closest colleagues have resigned from my office so today, being the first working day of the month, I am starting to feel the empty void that they have left. I don't know, I just felt that the office was so destitute of human activity, without our usual bickering over stationery, deadlines and work load and bitching about our bosses who were real assholes at times. I felt abandoned and dead even after work, so much that after American Idol, I text messaged a friend and asked her if she could be my Chris! And I could be the beat boxing Blake! A friend in need is a friend indeed?

To cure the blues, I'm going...to buy a new pair of shoes.