buying shit I don't need

I spent my weekend like the rest of the girls in Klang Valley exercising my wallet in the new H & M outlet at Bukit Bintang. My boyfriend kicked up a storm when I spent 45 minutes selecting, trying on and buying clothes that I probably don't really need but want, anyway. Next time, I shall leave the boyfriend at home and go shopping on my own so that he doesn't nag me over my compulsive shopping habits. He has been trying to get me to invest, grow my money and generate passive income but that has not been successful thus far. I keep telling myself "I will get a part time job, I will get a part time job" but this has yet to happen. I blame it on my amazing ability to procrastinate and do nothing while silently wishing money will just magically appear on my lap. 

The thing about being female in today's beauty driven and image conscious society is the endless pressure to look good whatever the costs may be. It is not enough to be smart with a highly functioning brain (neither of which I possess but I digress), it is also expected that one has to be attractive. Looking good is not magic, nor does it come cheap, all girls will tell you that. This is the part that guys just cannot seem to comprehend. Somehow, they are on the mistaken assumption that all girls wake up looking naturally beautiful - now this is an utter fallacy. It requires effort, time and money (lots of money. Makeup and nice clothes do not cost next to nothing). Of course it helps tremendously if one inherits great genes (by way of a cellulite-free ass; lush, full breasts; slender, long legs; narrow waist and soft, long hair) but I would say 95% of the female population do not have genetics on their side. We are flawed, imperfect and most of us are far from the idealized version of female beauty. 

In our desire to attain physical beauty, we jog, run, swim to keep our bodies relatively fat free. We slap on make-up to cover blemishes in our scarred faces, we wear clothes that hide our flaws and go on expensive, extensive, invasive surgeries to change, alter and transform a physical part we deem to be "ugly". All in the glorious name of beauty, whose very concept is so abstract and subjective that there is no correct definition of what "beauty" should be.  

We emphasize so much on looking good that we often forget to nurture what's inside. I know I am definitely guilty of this. Sometimes I look at the clothes and things I have hoarded over the years and think to myself, these are just things. At the end of the day, these things are worthless (except gold of course that never loses it's glitter, shine and value). If anything, I am contributing even more to the decline of the environment (i.e. waste), helping unethical businesses thrive and indirectly supporting child labor. We all go to great lengths to achieve the unattainable standards of beauty, without thinking of the disastrous consequences or the impact our spending behavior has on others.   

Striving to become a responsible consumer has been on my "to do" list for a while now. It is hard not to buy stuff especially if you live in a concrete jungle that prides itself for being a shopping paradise. I guess I should try anyhow, to resist the temptation of walking around aimlessly in shopping malls and maybe do productive, life changing stuff (i.e. write a novel). Of course, the lure of fast fashion will always be there. There will be a part of me that will continuously desire something new/fashionable/trendy. But maybe if I buy clothes that are not merely trendy, but timeless and long lasting, I will be able to escape the evil trappings of consumerism.