Sunday, June 24, 2012

welcome to adulthood!

I was bitten by bed bugs last night and I currently have less than 15 bites all across my back. The bites itch like crazy and if it isn't for a deadline at work this Friday, I would be so tempted to take a sickie tomorrow.

My brother graduated a couple days back and I wish I could afford a graduation present as a gesture of congratulations. But unfortunately, my finances are currently in a dire situation no thanks to education fees (I would rather spend that money on a Balenciaga Giant City, but alas I have been told an education is invaluable) so a short note on my humble blog would have to suffice for now.

Hi Elmo

Firstly, congratulations on graduating. I hope that you will not be disappointed with life post university and that it meets (or better yet, exceeds) your expecations. Do not become jaded, cynical and do accept life's shortcomings. And may you wake up every day with wonder, finding joy and purpose in whatever it is that you choose to do.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

weekend getaway

I was at Pangkor island during the weekend for some Company retreat. The weather was scorching hot and I did not perpetually immerse myself in the water for fear of being judged by my colleagues for having a cellulite ridden ass. I found myself attracted to certain things while isolated on an island, far removed from my normal life, that I would not find myself attracted to otherwise. Like a twenty ringgit kaftan that I would probably never wear again. Or gazing into the deep blue sea and letting time standstill. Or just making empty chatter with fellow comrades.


Wilderness and nature do indeed inspire, rejuvenate and excite.

 
 




Sunday, June 10, 2012

...Life was insignificant and death without consequence

All my life (up to the age of 22), I have always thought I would grow up and do something important and be someone. I wanted to create a mark, make an impact and change the world. Perhaps I was too much of an idealist, influenced by characters in the movies that I watched or books that I read. I wanted to be a concert pianist, or a criminal attorney, a journalist (or a columnist like you know, Carrie Bradshaw) or a scriptwriter. I mean does anybody actually wants to become an accountant? Is that ever an ambition for anybody below the age of 30? A stuffy accountant? Of all the careers and professions in the world, how does anybody end up being an accountant?

Well I guess, sometimes real life gets in the way of big dreams. Bills to pay, cars and houses to buy, food to put on the table, people to take care of, responsibilities to uphold. And we all know, poverty more than anything else destroys. It crushes your very soul and destroys families. So we all toil and struggle, days on end just to survive. But of course, so if you work not because you want to but because you have to and if you especially hate your job, the environment, the whole corporate culture, then you end up feeling resentful, bitter, cynical. You begin to blame everyone around you, your parents, your upbringing, your education, even life for handing you such lousy cards. This is when other people's lives, when viewed from your myopic perspective, become a series of never ending exotic adventure. Travels, celebrations, beautiful photography of places you have never been and things you do not possess.

“It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched for they are full of the truthless ideal which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real, they are bruised and wounded. It looks as if they were victims of a conspiracy; for the books they read, ideal by the necessity of selection, and the conversation of their elders, who look back upon the past through a rosy haze of forgetfulness, prepare them for an unreal life. They must discover for themselves that all they have read and all they have been told are lies, lies, lies; and each discovery is another nail driven into the body on the cross of life.”  
(Of Human Bondage, W. Somerset Maugham)