how i met ivan

Three and a half years ago, on the brink of self destruction, I made a monumental decision. My failed relationship implored me to remove myself physically from the places that held many fond memories and to venture somewhere new, even if it was just approximately 350 kilometres away. So I picked up the broken pieces of my heart and life, and started on a clean state. I wasn't certain what the future held for me and I dared not to hope that I'd fall in love again, it had turned into an incomprehensible concept, a theory and an equation I could no longer understand. I buried myself in work during the day and by night, I aimlessly read books, watched movies or went for dinners with strangers friends I barely knew. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't unhappy and as time passed by, I no longer thought of him in the way that lovers do.

Somewhere between then and now, I met someone, or rather someone met me. I cannot recollect what our first words were to each other, or where we went on our first date, or what I wore...all I remember was how he made me feel. Of course, cynics will say feelings are fleeting and not at all a good indication of true and sustainable love. Even so, life being as bleak and dreary as it is, the light of love shall be it's saving grace. Ivan made me believe in the existence and possibility of goodness and kindness. He represents everything I've always wanted to be but was incapable of becoming - he is unbelievably gentle, compassionate, selfless and humble. Metaphorically speaking, if he is the sun, I am the moon - dark, moody, unpredictable and prone to tantrums.

I guess for all my grievances in life, I am glad to have found someone I bicker and argue very well with, someone who gives me his unfailing support even when I seem to give him nothing but hell, and the most incredible thing is I cannot imagine anyone else in this world that I'd rather be with, for now, tomorrow and the next 50 years. So in the spirit of Chap Goh Meh and Valentine's Day, this concludes the story of how I met Ivan - fate, divine intervention, destiny.