another year has flown by...

I went back home for Christmas to see my folks hence the lack of posts recently. While we do not celebrate Christmas per se, we certainly got caught up with the revelries and frenzy that the festivities caused. Traffic was maddeningly hectic, the sun was scorching hot but it trully felt like Christmas to me because I was surrounded by delectable food and people I love.

I saw this bracelet (10 grams of 916 gold) which was approximately 2 grand in a goldsmith shop at Campbell Street and I came out of the shop severely devastated because yet again, my bank account has failed me.

Some other snapshots...

And finally, Happy New Year to one and all! It's my favorite holiday because it's a universal celebration - everybody gets together to usher in the new year!

christmas is coming! jumps around, jumps around!

Some christmas decoration at my office for the Secret Santa event. I got a lousy bracelet charm that probably cost less than RM10 (the budget was RM10 - RM15). Last year, I received a hair clip. I actually confronted the giver about this (yes, yes, I reek of immaturity). I swear, she and her friends must have bitched about me. What are the odds that her friend turned out to be my Secret Santa this year? That whole team must hate my guts. Whatevs.

I gave out a Hello Kitty shower gel that cost me RM15 (exclusive of wrapping which was another RM3).

Karma isn't really on my side this time. Never mind, there's always next year.

Awesome meringue and tarts (not forgetting the gingerbread man) from Thyme, Damansara Uptown. I'm in love with their cream cheese buns (not shown) which I consume on an almost daily basis. No wonder my cellulite refuse to leave my ass.

random musings

I went a little crazy over the weekend (thank you PMS) and spent an excessive amount of hard earned money at Zara. I'm reeling with shock right now and the consequences are finally registering - no money for my annual check up at the local dentist and also, Christmas presents for family / friends and some membership fees I have to pay to the accounting board. On top of all this, I am still in debt (like massive debt thanks to the handbag which I have yet to finish paying off to my debtor).

I don't know how I ended up in the accounting and finance industry when my own finances are in such a dire situation. To make things even worse, the temptation to spend is everywhere...weekends are the absolute worse, given all that idle time. Maybe I should take up an inexpensive hobby, like bird watching or something.

Does anybody know how I can generate more income for myself to fund my passion for acquiring stuff? Help...I am held captive by materialism!

guys say the darnest things

Today, I wore a green chiffon sheer blouse with nothing underneath (except for a bra, of course) as I thought that a camisole will serve to detract the beauty of the color.

Unfortunately, the response I received was less than complimentary. Someone said I looked like a beetlenut girl. No offence against beetlenut girls in Taiwan - but he just didn't mean it in a positive way. Wawawa..... 

Yay, I'm on holiday tomorrow! It's the Sultan's birthday...Chennie, don't be too jealous of me okay, I will be back on Tuesday! :-)

the weekend that was

This was what I wore yesterday to a newborn's full moon party. I figured that bright colors are appropriate for happy, joyous ocassions like these! The shirt is made of silk and it's rather loose but I think it's meant to be oversized to achieve that casual, breezy look.

I saw "Bad Teacher" on DVD yesterday and I want Cameron Diaz's wardrobe in the movie! Although the movie got panned by critics and received a 5.8 rating on imdb.com, I enjoyed it very much. I liked the fact that she was a bitch, had very few redeeming qualities and made no apologies about it. I cannot stand "Mary Sues" - fictional characters that can do no wrong and has every male fawning over her physical good looks and her heart full of love, compassion, kindness and virtue.

I am currently reading Haruki Murakami's IQ84. He used to be my favorite author (I reread Kafka on the Shore many, many times), but I'm not sure if that's still prevalent. Maybe I've become lazier and can no longer digest long, epic novels.

I also made a strawberry slice cake and packed some for the boyfriend (if you've been following my entries closely, you'd picked up that we had a spat recently which resulted in us not seeing or speaking to each other for appoximately 14 days). Sc-hweet!!

hell on earth

Every weekday I have to deal with this madness. The place I work in is like the eye of a hurricane - volatile and unpredictable. There are new challenges to be tackled everyday, be it technical or interpersonal issues. Too many hormonal women in the same perimeter is bound to drive one straight into the asylum. I'm glad I will not have to see this place for the next 2 days. Temporary relief from this hellhole!

i find a fatal flaw in the logic of love

The truth was...I couldn't imagine a life without you in it. Yet the incomprehensible has become my present reality and I am amazed at how (relatively) easy it is to revert to existing without being with you. And then I wonder, if it is easy for me, then it must be a breeze in the park for you. Although I am constantly surrounded by places and objects that remind me of you, I refuse to acknowledge the loneliness and pain. I keep telling myself to be strong and go on. In saying that, I have successfully deluded myself into believing that I can go on living without you.

It's funny how the sun still shines and the clock still ticks, even when your own world has collapsed into shambles. Maybe life really does go on. Maybe in the near future, the memory of us will be just that, a kaleidoscope of moments and events that have past, are gone and will never be found again. Or maybe, better still, we'll create a future we never envisoned we could have.

innate ramblings

I went for a facial today and now, it looks like there are a handful of red spots on the left side of my forehead :(. Sighh....I am so envious of those girls with dewy, rosy, blemish free, glowing complexion. Why is the state of my skin deteriorating and what can I do to rectify this problem?

A few weeks ago, when the SEA games were still going on, one of the dispatch guys in my office told his colleague "Eh, you tak nampak ke...KW dalam televisyen?" KW refers to a national volleyball player who also happens to be my cubicle mate. I don't know why but I kind of found this exchange cute. Number one, the dispatch guy is in his 50s and number two, he is Malay and KW is Chinese. Moments like these convinces me that the spirit of 1 Malaysia is more than a propaganda instigated by the government, but rather something real and achievable.

in a perfect dream...

I have a severe case of the blues. I wish I had all the answers in life.

"Aku kan menghilang dalam gelap malam
Lepas ku melayang
Biarlah kubertanya pada bintang-bintang
Tentang arti kita."

-Peter Pan-

random stuff

sob sob...Monday is upon us once again. I hate Mondays with the passion of a burning suns. Starting your week with e-mails that read as follows:

1) Where are we on this?
2) What's the progress on this?
3) Why have we not done this?
4) I'm surprised this has not been done
5) I'm shocked this has been done

are not only depressing but also demotivating and crushes your very soul. She (the boss) is merely a user and an abuser. She loves to trick (con) her team into accepting opportunities that she deems is good for our careers but her intention is actually to make slaves out of us. Don't think I can't see through your conniving ways, bossie
:-)!

I bought a cobalt blue cardigan yesterday but the length almost reaches my knee. It resembles a bathrobe so maybe I'll wear it at home instead over sleep wear. When it comes to shopping, I have zero clue how to buy clothes or shoes that are sustainable. Everything wears and tears so easily thanks to clothing manufacturers that compromise on quality for the sake of reducing costs.  

I'm currently re-reading "One Day" by David Nicholls. I wonder if the movie is any good. Anne Hathaway grates on my nerves (only second to Natalie Portman). Maybe I'm unconsciously jealous of her boobies body. Into the Wild (Jon Krakauer) is also on my reading list but I can't seem to follow as it's just too sad. How does one turn his back from civilization, walk away and live a life devoid of material things? The mysteries of the human mind never ceases to amaze me.

On an unrelated note, Oh, to live the life of a lingerie model. Miranda Kerr and Doutzen Kroes, no one else makes motherhood as appealing and attractive as the two of you!

rawr!

I wore this to work yesterday - my pussy bow leopard print blouse which I purchased a couple of weeks back. It was well received by my colleagues; someone even commented that I looked like one of the partners in the firm which was a huge compliment (to me anyway) because she's got some style!

Tomorrow is casual Friday at work so I'll be wearing my skinnies and because the weather is cool these days I'll also throw in a navy blazer for good measure :-). Bring on the weekend, I wanna do some baking, make a card for one of my best friend's birthday in December and watch DVDs. For those who haven't seen it, please go watch Melancholia - if only for the opening and closing scenes. The final shots totally blew me away. A few nights ago, I could relate to how Kristen Dunst's character's felt before the planet collided with Earth - calm, serene and accepting of her fate. Tonight, not so much. As humans, our natural instinct is to survive and thrive, whatever challenges that may come our way.

the week in photos...

The places only life can take you to are often dark and dreary. However, the paradox lies in the fact that it is also undeniably magical and compelling, if you look hard and close enough.

cooking lunch!

Today being a public holiday with plenty of time to kill (actually not really, I am merely procrastinating on doing important things), I decided to undertake a seemingly impossible task (to me anyway) - cooking! Me and domestic duties do not jive well together, you know with me being a lazy, impatient cow (2 attributes which serve as stumbling blocks when attempting to be a domestic goddess). Anyway, this was what I made - fried salmon, lotus seed soup and brocolli with oyster sauce (not shown).

To my surprise, it didn't taste too bad, was more than just edible so clearly, I was doing something right. Hehe. This definitely serves as an encouragement for me to improve my culinary skills, so that in the future when I get hitched, my future hypothetical family wouldn't starve to death! ;-)

On a totally unrelated matter, my dragon lady of a boss made me an offer that I had already refused but being the egomanical, controlling freak that she is, she is insistent that I accept her proposal. I do not know how to decline and reject without offending. Tact and subtlety are skills I am obviously incompetent at. 

this week in photos

 Didn't take much photos the past week due to a horrific exam, commencement of work and other inconsequential matters which were not worthy of being captured. Things to do this coming week: fight cellulite (Please leave my ass, you are unattractive), go see a world renowned choir in the philharmonic hall, wear a leopard print pussy bow top, eat more fruits and attempt to figure out what doing the right thing means.

i have the blues...

I am such a wannabe. I wanna be Rumi Neely. If you haven't heard of her before, google her up please. She's only like the best fashion blogger ever and I want her life. But then again, I seem to want everyone else's life except my own. I discovered through FB that an ex flame has somehow magically gotten hitched. I sort of convinced myself that he would have spent all the time that we were apart pining for me. I was upset, envious (at his wife) and sulked for a while. Not because I particularly want to be with him, but in a strange, surreal kind of way, I felt that he chose her over me.
And rejection hurts, even at a metaphysical level. Sometimes I wonder if we ever trully get over our ex lovers. Or does a part of them remain in you forever? When you lose the person, do you lose a part of yourself as well? Before I fall asleep every night, I tend to play accidental scenes from childhood in my brain. I see friends I haven't spoken to in years. They appear in my head like a reel from an old movie. I am tempted to poke, message, call, e-mail but when the new day begins, I lose courage and tell myself to let sleeping dogs lie. I guess I no longer know what to say to them. Somewhere along the way, we have allowed ourselves to become complete strangers.

I mourn the memory of you, of us, of our past and shared history.

"Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence". 

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow-

wealth maximisation

I've been thinking of starting my own business for a while now ever since the downsizing and restructuring that has taken effect at my work place. Relying solely on employment income these days is just insufficient. Yeah sure, it's enough to sustain your day-to-day living ("kais makan pagi, kais makan petang") but it does not provide you with opportunities to buy stuff and do the things that you really want. I'm constantly amazed by the rising costs of living (yes I know this has got to be the most repeated phrase ever). I don't know if it's just a country specific thing but Malaysia is ridiculously expensive from the perspective of a consumer. Our purchasing power, ringgit and earnings are sub par and low. My monthly income goes to rent, utility bills, parking fees (nothing is for free yo!) car installment, fuel, groceries, a small contribution to my parents, meals and other random, unforeseen and unpredictable expenditures. This does not leave me much money for savings or shopping excursions, let alone money to set aside for travels. How do people afford travelling? It's a legitimate question and one that I would love to have the answer to. Do banks offer short term loans solely for the purpose of travelling? Like a travel loan?

Being in the accounting and finance industry and more specifically, preparing tax returns for rich people, I am aware that some jobs in certain industries are highly well paying. Engineering in oil and gas companies for instance. Those folks in exploration and down stream activities earn six, seven figures per annum (salary, benefits, allowance, etc), inclusive of incentive compensation (restricted stocks, share options, employee purchase plans, etc). Banking is also another lucrative industry with their huge bonuses and other performance related rewards. The rest of us who are unfortunately not engineers, investment bankers, consultants or partners in accounting firms earn a less than marginal income. We are overworked, underpaid and we have zero quality of life. We go through an unlimited amount of stress, conflict and challenges every day. We are expected to deliver, meet and exceed goals, objectives that has been set. Some of us may be rewarded for our hardwork in lieu of a promotion, increment in salary or bonuses. Of course, the possibility that your hardwork may go unnoticed is warranted, if you have zero political skills or ass kissing abilities, you are likely to receive a big fat zero.

Which leads me back to my concern - seeing that my current employment is unprofitable, costly (stress, parking, unpaid overtime ("charity"), etc) and unequitable, I have decided to perhaps start my own business. Probably just a small one first and we'll see how it goes. I'll probably make stuff to sell. My idea - party favors. Of course there's a whole list of issues to consider before commencing (capital, resources, consumer needs, market price, etc) but if I do not start somewhere, I will probably get nowhere. And nowhere is not a destination I desire to be at.

So, stay tuned!!!

the week in photos...

the week that was

It was the boyfriend's birthday a few days back and I gave him nothing, not even a card. This goes to show what a fantastic girlfriend that I am! He should be soo proud to have me! Coincidentally, my younger brother's birthday also fell on that some day but amazingly enough, I actually found the time to buy, write and send him a card! I am such an awesome sister! But then again, I mooch off my younger sibling aplenty, always demanding requesting him to buy me stuff from overseas, so I should at least return the gesture.

Late last week, I had some administrative issues to be settled with my employers which kept me occupied while I was on leave. My cheapskate employers could not bear to part with their money to pay for my Singaporean taxes (which arose thanks to their decision to second me there during the peak filing season) and thus, I had to adhere cumbersome administrative procedures (obtain the duly signed tax certificate residence from the Malaysian tax authorities, a letter of confirmation from my employer confirming that the costs of my salary were entirely paid by the local entity, and the signed Form IR 21). Thanks to a leech sucking el cheapo professional hell hole, I had to sacrifice my precious study time to partake in a process that will reduce taxes for them but serves no benefit to me, where is the logic in this!!!!!

I spent all of yesterday and most of today stuck in a classroom with 140 other students engaged in a Strategic Management Accounting workshop. I wish I could say I am glad to no longer be a student and in college but come to think of it, the office is just an adult version of high school with the customary cliques and cliches (the popular ones, the nerds, the jocks, the fat guys with caps, the smoking trio, the skinny girls with denim mini skirts, etc). Except that in the working environment, the stakes are much, much higher and there is real and huge money involved. Sadly, the fat guys still exist but at least they no longer wear caps. Apologies for the bias and discrimination against body size (shape) but guys judge women on our bodies all the time so fair's fair.

Oh, I wanted to write about this before I forget - someone told me I had smelly hair. Not very kind words but I guess I really do have an oily (and smelly) scalp. For those with this problem, I recommend washing your scalp with vinegar and lemon. The lemon made my eyes tear and vinegar smells weird but at least my scalp isn't mouldy anymore. Remember to shampoo every day and dry it well afterwards!

sunny sunday

Today, I did a little bit of this (like 25 minutes in total?). I really should be doing more of this and less of whatever I am presently doing (browsing and blogging).

And I wore this to run some errands and chores (you know like banking - paying debts to be more specific!). This is my favourite weekend uniform - denim cutoffs (not store bought, it was really cut out from a pair of jeans by my mom), Country Road pin-striped shirt (I love long sleeved shirts that can be worn casually as opposed to being worn as formal wear. In fact, I no longer even wear shirts to the office, they don't flatter my body when worn with high waisted skirts as the proportions look weird. The shirt is too loose but the skirt is too tight) and some Havs slippers or ballet flats. Speaking of which, I'm looking for a pair of leopard print ballet flats. Rawr! Oh and I forgot, my newly acquired Bayswater satchel! *Hearts*